One brave soul in Denmark dared to do something that no man has been brave enough to attempt: he went to see Fifty Shades of Grey all by himself. It’s an admirable mission, for certain. It’s embarrassing enough to sit in that theater as a woman, surrounded by a group of girlfriends, as you watch handcuffed actors fornicate. But, to attend a screening on your own is to know true shame. This poor man looked shame right in the face and said, “Hey, I want to see this movie! I will overcome you, Shame.” He was going to watch Christian and Anastasia, and he didn’t give a darn who knew it. Until a camera crew showed up. As soon as he walked out of the theater to the sight of a full-on news program conducting interviews with moviegoers, he quickly realized the gravity of his mistake. Frozen in fear, he first attempted to retreat. Then, finding himself surrounded and stuck — alas, there is no back-door Shame Exit in movie theaters — he decided to attempt the Duck-and-Run. That was also unsuccessful. There is no shadow dark enough to hide your self-reproach, sir. It’s time to own it: You went to see Fifty Shades of Grey all by yourself. Isn’t life better when you walk in the light? You are single Fifty Shades man, hear you roar!
